"The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."
Allan K. Chalmers
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
White Outs, Chaos, and Moments of Clarity
I had an appointment in Iowa City today. There was another winter storm here in Iowa yesterday and while we were supposed to get a lot of snow here, as always up north expected much more. Well we got next to nothing but up the Iowa City way they got A LOT!!! I thought things would be okay today for driving but I was wrong. When I got about 13 miles away there was about an inch thick layer of ice covering the entire highway. I slowed down to about 20 miles an hour. The roads in town weren't much better. At any rate I got to my appointment safely. I was ready for the chaos.
Meeting with an attorney is not an easy thing. Lots of numbers, lots of information to think about, mull over, contemplate, discuss, and then there are usually more numbers. Such was the case today. My head was full of information that just always seems all jumbled up. The appointment lasted about an hour and a half or so and while I was nice and cozy warm inside the firm's conference room I welcomed the very cool(okay, COLD) air outside. Something about brisk winds to help clear the head a bit.
After the meeting I went out to the mall to purchase some much needed jeans for my quite tall and very skinny 8 year old and to grab some lunch. I wasn't much in the mood for shopping but I really wasn't in the mood for the roads I thought I might encounter. Finally though I couldn't put it off any longer(I found the jeans I wanted very quickly- thanks Old Navy) and I left. Thinking that as long as I go slow like I did earlier all I had to do was make it to Riverside and I would be free to listen to my iPod as loudly as I want to. Well, I was wrong. The chaos was to continue further than Riverside.
Apparently the winds kicked up while I was muddling through the chaos. So, I was met with not only ice but lots of white outs. I was white knuckling it more than half way home. While I was driving within the white outs I realized that I felt very much like I did in my attorney's office. Very confused, jumbled up, disoriented, and exhausted. Then I would all of a sudden drive out of the blowing snow and I would be in the most bright and beautiful, sunny, clear, air I have seen in a long time and I felt much better, my mind seemed clearer. I would let out a sigh and relax and just hope that I had gotten far enough south that I was done with the unpleasantness of the white out driving only to be disappointed and have to go through the stress all over again.
Eventually I made it home, obviously, back to the ones I adore and those who keep me calm and centered(most of the time). I made it through the white outs, through the chaos and back to where I belong. I guess this was a day meant for me to remember that no matter what is going on or how hard it seems the journey to get to where I am going is going to be, I need to keep trudging forward, towards the chaos and right through it. When I come out of it I will eventually have the most beautiful moments of clarity that will make it all worth it in the end.
Cheers!
Amy
Meeting with an attorney is not an easy thing. Lots of numbers, lots of information to think about, mull over, contemplate, discuss, and then there are usually more numbers. Such was the case today. My head was full of information that just always seems all jumbled up. The appointment lasted about an hour and a half or so and while I was nice and cozy warm inside the firm's conference room I welcomed the very cool(okay, COLD) air outside. Something about brisk winds to help clear the head a bit.
After the meeting I went out to the mall to purchase some much needed jeans for my quite tall and very skinny 8 year old and to grab some lunch. I wasn't much in the mood for shopping but I really wasn't in the mood for the roads I thought I might encounter. Finally though I couldn't put it off any longer(I found the jeans I wanted very quickly- thanks Old Navy) and I left. Thinking that as long as I go slow like I did earlier all I had to do was make it to Riverside and I would be free to listen to my iPod as loudly as I want to. Well, I was wrong. The chaos was to continue further than Riverside.
Apparently the winds kicked up while I was muddling through the chaos. So, I was met with not only ice but lots of white outs. I was white knuckling it more than half way home. While I was driving within the white outs I realized that I felt very much like I did in my attorney's office. Very confused, jumbled up, disoriented, and exhausted. Then I would all of a sudden drive out of the blowing snow and I would be in the most bright and beautiful, sunny, clear, air I have seen in a long time and I felt much better, my mind seemed clearer. I would let out a sigh and relax and just hope that I had gotten far enough south that I was done with the unpleasantness of the white out driving only to be disappointed and have to go through the stress all over again.
Eventually I made it home, obviously, back to the ones I adore and those who keep me calm and centered(most of the time). I made it through the white outs, through the chaos and back to where I belong. I guess this was a day meant for me to remember that no matter what is going on or how hard it seems the journey to get to where I am going is going to be, I need to keep trudging forward, towards the chaos and right through it. When I come out of it I will eventually have the most beautiful moments of clarity that will make it all worth it in the end.
Cheers!
Amy
Friday, February 8, 2008
Finally, A New Year's Resolution
Getting divorced. I apologize for the lack of entries but the chaos of my life has kind of overwhelmed me for the last couple of months. That plus my kiddos tend to get sick a lot in the Dec, Jan, and Feb time of year. Kyla has been in the hospital every Feb of her life, will this year be her year? We shall see.
So the chaos. Things aren't all that pleasant and the kids are confused although I think they are getting used to the decline in arguing and fighting. It will take time but one thing I know is that I have very strong children and they will get through this. I love them and their father loves them and as long as they know that that won't change...
I turned 39 in January. Wow, less than 1 year from 40. Honestly I am looking forward to my forties. My thirties were difficult. It was a very long decade.
One thing I am learning from this divorce is that I may not be as trusting a person as I had originally thought I was. When Connor got sick I swore that I would NEVER be taken by surprise again; I would never have the rug pulled out from underneath me again. I will always be on my guard. I think that I must have unconsciously decided that would be me for all facets of my life and not just the medical lives of my children.
So, finally, one month and 7 days later I now have a New Year's Resolution- Relax more, trust more, and be happy. This would be a nice resolution to keep wouldn't it?
I hope I can do it.
Amy
So the chaos. Things aren't all that pleasant and the kids are confused although I think they are getting used to the decline in arguing and fighting. It will take time but one thing I know is that I have very strong children and they will get through this. I love them and their father loves them and as long as they know that that won't change...
I turned 39 in January. Wow, less than 1 year from 40. Honestly I am looking forward to my forties. My thirties were difficult. It was a very long decade.
One thing I am learning from this divorce is that I may not be as trusting a person as I had originally thought I was. When Connor got sick I swore that I would NEVER be taken by surprise again; I would never have the rug pulled out from underneath me again. I will always be on my guard. I think that I must have unconsciously decided that would be me for all facets of my life and not just the medical lives of my children.
So, finally, one month and 7 days later I now have a New Year's Resolution- Relax more, trust more, and be happy. This would be a nice resolution to keep wouldn't it?
I hope I can do it.
Amy
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